Search Results for: autism

When you’re autistic, everything is ‘more’

Note: I’m well aware that as a spectrum disorder, autism affects different people in very different ways. Therefore anything I say or write about it is by necessity heavily weighted by my own personal experiences, but I suspect that it will strike a familiar note to many people with ASD. One of the biggest myths about autistic people is that we lack empathy. AHAHAHAHAH. Fuck me, the one thing I don’t lack is empathy. I do not lack emotions of any kind – in fact I have all of the feels and more. ‘More’ is the best way to describe...

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A letter to my younger, drunker self (contains swearing, because I was an idiot back then)

You know how people often write a letter to their younger selves, full of sweet comments and life-affirming encouragement? Yeah, turns out I can’t be that nice. Hey, you – yes, you over there in the corner of the pub, skinnier than you think (certainly skinnier than you’ll ever be again), trying to figure out how to hold a conversation with this bunch of people you’ve ended up sitting with but don’t actually know. It’s me, Older You.  Nearly three decades older, actually. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking – still alive, who’da thought? Bit crepey round the edges, but...

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The drugs DO work, actually

So I had to go to the GP this week and utter those immortal words, ‘Ummm…yeah, well…er no, I’m not doing so good, actually.’ And my GP said ‘Aah well it happens, let’s see what we can do for you’ and now I’m on ‘proper’ meds again for the first time in about five years. Backstory – I have a chronic anxiety disorder, was recently diagnosed with Aspergers and am also still recovering from a horse riding accident which has made me walk a bit wonky and gives me dizzy spells. Also there had been a shitload of crap...

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‘You’ll never get a proper job…’

If you’ve got a tattoo – even of the discreet variety – the chances are that you’ve heard this at least once. My family gave up lecturing me about my body art years ago in favour of just pretending it isn’t there, but then they really are pretty much invisible so long as I’ve got a long sleeved top on. But then I went and did this: As much as I’m all YAY TATTOOS PIERCINGS BRING IT ON WOOP, there’s always been something stopping me getting a hand tat – mostly the basic fact that you simply can’t hide your hands and a lot of employers aren’t keen. But then I got a fucking grip and remembered that as a self employed writer, I am very unlikely to ever have anything that constitutes a ‘normal’ job – apart from anything else, anxiety and autism make me virtually unemployable and anyway I have to be at home for my son (also autistic and subject to various meetings, consultations and just your common or garden ‘fuck this and fuck this and oh fuck this as well’ meltdowns). I made sure it was a really good tattoo. Rachelle from Adorn in Shrewsbury has inked me before  – she knew exactly what I wanted and we were very careful with the placement. I absolutely love it. But interestingly, another reason for just getting the fuck on with it finally...

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Things I have learned as an autistic adult

*** Although I’ve only recently been formally diagnosed with autism (Asperger Syndrome to be precise, although I generally just say ‘autistic’), I’ve always felt out of kilter with the world and have developed my own ways of coping with life. You know, those little things that mean you manage to not kill the Stupids – the stuff that helps you to not go stark staring bonkers under the strain of simply Existing. Especially the one about the forks. *** People don’t always say what they mean And quite often they don’t mean what they say, either. I decided long ago...

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