Author: Violet Fenn

fifty shades of what the f*ck is this

I managed to avoid watching Fifty Shades of Grey for several years. Not because I was particularly against it – I’d read the first book in the series and thought it was bearable if somewhat tedious and annoying, oh and appallingly badly written – but because I kind of knew I’d hate it.  Since then, several people have told me that I really should watch it because, like it or not, it’s had a huge impact on the adult industry. And I do a lot of work with that industry. I even got as far as buying a copy...

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Review: Fetish Fantasy Elite Heavy Duty Harness

You guys, YOU GUYYYYS *tugs at your sleeves* – don’t quote me on this in case I wake up to discover it’s all been a dream (please gods let the last few weeks have been a dream and the new US president a figment of my imagination, pleeeease), but I do believe I have found a strap on harness that not only doesn’t fall apart or cut your circulation off, it actually properly fits.  By which I mean it fits people above a size 14 – something which is far harder to find than you might think. Ever since I started reviewing sex toys I’ve suffered constant, low-level annoyance at the sizing of ‘adult’ products, from clothing to bondage gear. Even in this day and age when we’re all well aware that the ‘average’ UK woman is at least a size 16, the majority of kit appears to be made for delicate little munchkins rather than those with either mass or muscles.  But not the Elite harness from Fetish Fantasy, ohhhh no. This thing is made properly. It has wide pleather straps that adjust to accommodate hips up to 52″ along with a silicone O-ring that stretches up to 2.5″ and can hold pretty much any flared-base, harness-compatible dildo.  I’m not overly convinced by the g-string style – I’d prefer two straps that go either side of the ladygarden because CHAFING,...

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Mental Health 101: how to survive in Interesting Times

  I have a confession to make – I’ve barely slept for the past three nights (whatever time I go to bed, I invariably wake at 3am and that’s it til I need to get up around 7am, at which point I could keel over and sleep for a week because clearly my brain hates me). This is partly due to anxiety and also partly because I have had to up my meds as a consequence of said anxiety and they work a bit like speed, keeping my brain whirring even when I’m desperate to doze off. So this...

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Review: Scandal collar and body restraint harness

My, hasn’t commercial bondage kit gone up in the style stakes? Let’s face it, there’s restraint kit wherever you look these days, since the release of That Bloody Film. But most of it is either cheap and tacky, or custom made for the serious end of the market and thus horrendously expensive (which puts it out of the reach of the average shopper and also probably terrifies them anyway). This Scandal harness set sits somewhere in the middle – affordable without being cheap and nasty, functional without being scary. Initial thoughts – it’s made of decently heavyweight fabric in the collar and cuffs (‘collar and cuffs’, fnarrrr) and the velcro’s strong enough not to come undone when your -ahem- ‘victim’ struggles. The webbing on the body harness itself isn’t great – it feels a bit thin and cheap – and the waistband fastens with a plastic clip akin to those on dog collars (and I’m not talking about the sexy kind). At least there are enough D-rings to make it nicely adjustable and the body strap is long enough to fit around waists up to 46″. Manufacturers are finally waking up to the fact that most people are not teeny tiny and hoorah for that. Minor issues aside, this harness is sturdy and absolutely functional. It’s difficult to wrench the velcro straps undone, however hard you try – which is...

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People don’t like you (and that’s okay)

Think about all the people you know – friends, relatives, acquaintances, work colleagues, those randoms who are on your Facebook friends list but you can’t quite remember why. Do you like them all? Every last one of them? Obviously you’ll be fonder of some than others, but can you honestly say that there isn’t one person that makes you think ‘Urgh why the fuck do I bother with this person when they irritate me so much urgh?’  Thought not. I don’t have statistics for this but I’m pretty sure no one would disagree with me when I say that it...

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