aka ‘Your Perception of Women as Participants in a Constant Catty BitchFest is Somewhat Flawed, Actually’
So I finally got round to reading this frankly fucking amazing book:
It is funny and sweet and sexy and really good, and I can’t quite believe it’s taken me this long to get round to it. I’d ordered that ^^ version but the copy I was sent was actually a newer edition, with a different cover and a foreword by Dave Navarro of Red Hot Chilli Peppers. To start with I liked what he’d written, especially this:
This shit is important. It’s taken a long time for women to be able to talk openly about sex and even in the present day it isn’t always an easy thing to do. Go Dave! But then I read his closing comments and my stomach sank into a little pit of sadness:
Oh fucking hell Dave – and just when you were doing so well. In the space of one paragraph we’ve gone from feminist positivity to hackneyed cliches about women being in constant competition with one another and hostile (your word Dave, your word) to any other female who might be prettier/more successful/had a more interesting life.
Thing is, Dave, we don’t give a ripe shit if someone shags our idols*. We’re too busy being awesome on our own terms, and/or high-fiving other women who are doing well and having fun. We like other women to have fun, Dave, because it reminds us that fun is out there. We especially like other women who are in full control of their sexuality and utterly unashamed of that fact. We are not ‘jealous and hostile’, Dave. We are not ‘fighting’ to keep negative feelings at bay.
We like Pamela, Dave.
More than you seem to like us.
*Also, Dave, you make the assumption that all women would love to be a groupie. Actually there are plenty of women who absolutely wouldn’t**. And this does not preclude them from reading and liking this book, Dave, because it is a book, not a ‘how-to’ guide.
**conversely there are almost certainly also plenty of men who absolutely would. Star-shagging is not the sole province of women, Dave.