10 ways you know you’re winning at being a grown up

Your clothes fit you This is nothing to do with losing weight or being a particular size. It is all about sucking it the fuck up – muffin top, bingo wings and all – and buying clothes in a size that fits. I spent years wearing clothes a size too small in the hope that technically being a 12 (or 14, or 16) would make me feel better. It doesn’t. All it does is make you constantly aware that your belly is hanging over your waistband and you appear to have four breasts. Buy the next size up. Cut the size labels out, if it makes you feel better. I always cut labels out anyway, because labels showing through clothes looks stupid. The only time I’ve had a problem with this is when buying from certain supermarkets who save on manufacturing costs by screen-printing the size onto the fabric itself. Those supermarkets are dickheads.   You can change the wheel on a car But you’ve never had to, because you have your own, paid-for breakdown service and that is what the RAC was put on this planet to do. I can absolutely change a spare tyre, but I’ve managed to avoid doing so since somewhere around 1992.   Saturday night can be spent reading a book in bed without feeling that you’re missing out on something, somewhere Bonus points for having cookies in that...

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Bare faced bravery?

There’s been a lot of guff recently about women ‘bravely’ showing their makeup-free faces to the world. #NOMAKEUPSELFIE, people shrieked. So effing WHAT? Whether you wear makeup or not has no bearing on research or funding for any disease, cancer or anything else. How is this even a Thing? I just cannot get my head around how patronising this idea of ‘bravery’ is. Medics who travel to Africa to help with ebola epidemic are brave. People with disabilities who fight to lead as normal a life as possible are brave. My friend Sam (endless procedures for ulcerative colitis, which she blogs about – often hilariously – here) is brave. The endless people I know who manage to get up every morning whilst fighting against debilitating mental illness are brave. Going out of the house without foundation on IS NOT BRAVE. I bloody love makeup. I like being able to make my skin look better than it is (Boots foundation-matching service, I bow at your pedicured feet). I love that I can paint insane cat-eye eyeliner on my lids and look like a sixties sex bomb. Finding the perfect new red lipstick to add to my collection of other perfect red lipsticks makes me happier than you can ever imagine. None of this makes me either shallow, nor a coward, it is just something I like to do. Conversely, I am perfectly happy leaving...

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Well hello there…

If you’ve landed up here then it’s most likely that we already know each other from one of my previous websites.  After The Skull Illusion was all but destroyed by hackers recently I decided to take the opportunity to have a fresh start with only one site. I’d like to think that fewer sites will mean less hassle, but my life never seems to work like that. So this – Sex, Death, Rock’n’Roll – is a combination of all my interests in one neat package. Hopefully I have finally found the perfect home for my ramblings about everything from tattoos and clothes to why I am determined not to grow old gracefully. Thanks for...

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Above all else – make good art.

If you are creative in any way, shape or form, then you need to watch Neil Gaiman giving this insanely inspiring, clever and kind graduation speech. I absolutely bloody adore Mr G, and not only because he is responsible for the best tweet I ever received:  “@neilhimself: @violetfenn No time for that. There is a radioactive mouse on the loose. You should be panicing.” It doesn’t matter that a) he made a typo and b) I can no longer remember what it was that he thought I didn’t have time for, because NEIL GAIMAN, goddammit…    ...

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  Regardless of current trends, fashion never seems to ever truly lose its love for the darkly gothic. My teenage years were spent in England in the 1980’s, when goth was really getting into its stride. I adopted the look with gusto and at one point had a make up bag that consisted entirely of the colour black. Black nail varnish, black ‘blusher’ (who the hell actually blushes black?!), black lipstick, hair blacker than a raven’s wing – you know the drill. Some of these outfits make me  feel desperate to play dress up again – and all are from contemporary haute couture collections.           If only I could figure out a wallet-friendly interpretation, I reckon I could make quite a splash on the school...

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If you have read The State of Grace and enjoyed it, I'm almost at 100 Amazon reviews and it would be SO lovely to get there.