Also known as, ‘I’m pretty sure that this sort of crap never happens to other people…’ Every now and again I stumble across an article on my laptop that was salvaged from my old website. This one still makes me cackle with horrified glee, so I thought I’d republish it here for shits’n’giggles. Backstory – back in the day when I had more spare time, I did a bit of taxidermy. The deceased animals awaited their final stuffing in an under-the-counter freezer in my kitchen, that I didn’t actually check very often. You can see where this is going,...Read More
This post is prompted by an email I received recently from a PR agency, on behalf of a very large and very famous commercial brand. As I described it on Facebook: PR: ‘Can I send you this lovely Thing from this big successful company in return for you writing a review about it?’ Me: ‘Actually I am genuinely really interested in this Thing from that company, so yes do send it over.’ PR: ‘Did I mention that the client wants it back afterwards and they don’t pay anything at all and could you talk about it on all your social...Read More
I managed to avoid watching Fifty Shades of Grey for several years. Not because I was particularly against it – I’d read the first book in the series and thought it was bearable if somewhat tedious and annoying, oh and appallingly badly written – but because I kind of knew I’d hate it. Since then, several people have told me that I really should watch it because, like it or not, it’s had a huge impact on the adult industry. And I do a lot of work with that industry. I even got as far as buying a copy...Read More
Think about all the people you know – friends, relatives, acquaintances, work colleagues, those randoms who are on your Facebook friends list but you can’t quite remember why. Do you like them all? Every last one of them? Obviously you’ll be fonder of some than others, but can you honestly say that there isn’t one person that makes you think ‘Urgh why the fuck do I bother with this person when they irritate me so much urgh?’ Thought not. I don’t have statistics for this but I’m pretty sure no one would disagree with me when I say that it...Read More
I used to think I was the only person who went through life constantly waiting for a tap on the shoulder. You know, the point at which someone would finally see through the human-shaped carapace and witness what horrors actually lurked on the inside. Eventually though, I realised that it really wasn’t just me – an awful lot of us afflicted by Fear Of The Tap. You know FOTT – the gnawing feeling that, however well you’re coping with life and regardless of how successful you are, somehow, some day, someone will look at you and see you for...Read More
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If you have read The State of Grace and enjoyed it, I'm almost at 100 Amazon reviews and it would be SO lovely to get there.
If you have a mental illness, please read ✨💊 I am writing a feature on how the mental health system is failing us, and would love to know how it has failed you/the worst advice/lack of support you've been given. Is there anything you'd like to tell? Please RT!
My recent Metro feature about #pegging has been insanely popular 💖 Those lovely people at @ShWomenstore apparently had a huge surge of interest after they kindly contributed to the piece - I’ve just received *the* most brilliant thank you gift 💖🍆😂 #sexpositive pic.twitter.com/vBe9…
Whatever terrible shit you did today, at least you didn’t invite a racist kid pretending to be bullied and his gun toting family to your movie premiere.