The Joy of Sex (toys)

  *** I’m in The Sun today, talking about why sex toys are BRILLIANT. This being the tabloid press they’ve left out quite a bit of pertinent info – and also an absolutely brilliant pic of me in a bed tent under my duvet, waggling a Doxy around my ears – but whatever you think of the paper itself, the fact that this sort of thing is now being discussed openly is just awesome. When I was growing up, most women didn’t admit to even wanking, let alone buying and using vibrators. This was probably a huge amount to...

Read More

Alright, cock?

One of the most simple and effective sex toys in existence is the humble cock ring, yet not many people seem to talk publicly about their use. I can only think that perhaps they still feel cock rings are for those who struggle to maintain an erection, which is wrong. Well okay it’s also right. And what’s wrong with Mr Floppy sometimes coming to stay, anyway? Show me a bloke who says he’s never got the droop on at an inopportune moment and I’ll show you a fibbing mister with performance issues who needs to get over himself and realise that it happens to everyone occasionally. Everyone who’s male, obviously – yes I know you know this already, but as a women writing an article such as this, I felt I should clarify. And as a woman, maybe some people will wonder why I even have an opinion on things that get attached to cocks, an example of which I do not have on my anatomy (which is a shame, quite frankly). To those people I reply – I HAVE AN OPINION ON EVERYTHING IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS BY NOW. Also, when I say that sex toys fascinate me, I really mean it – and not all sex toys are made for women. I like being able to advise friends about what might be the best...

Read More

Oh arse…

It’s funny how people don’t like talking about bums, isn’t it? When it comes to sex toys, a huge section of the market is aimed at bum-fun – there’s clearly a market for it. SO WHY DON’T WE TALK ABOUT BUTTS? Yes yes, I know there are plenty of specific sex blogging and advice sites that will give you no end of information, but it’s not often that you sit down for a cuppa with mates and they say ‘ooh I’ve found this brilliant new toy and you stick it up your arse‘ (actually this has happened to me, but then my friends might not be quite your average selection). Bums are brilliant and so long as you’re careful (and hygienic), can also be a whole heap of fun. So where to begin if you’re just wriggling a butt cheek into the shallow end of anal activity? This beaded anal teaser from Kinx is as good a place as any to start – made of semi-translucent PVC it has a bit of ‘give’ to it, so is more comfortable for novices. It’s pretty narrow and it’s only 5.5″ long, so it’s not intimidating and the graduated beads mean that you can take it at your own pace (make sure to pair it with a good water-based lube). The loop end is easy to hold on to and gives an added bit of security....

Read More

Review: Minx Water Bunny (and both his faces)

This guest post is brought to you by a reviewer who wishes to be known as ‘Slightly Spiced Vanilla’ – and who am I to argue? I sent her a ‘Minx Water Bunny’, which is a fully waterproof rabbit vibrator from Simply Pleasure. Over to SSV… The Water Bunny is a Purple Rabbit thing which is waterproof. The packaging is fairly functional – a bit Ikea in style – nothing off-putting but nothing special. I was somewhat startled to see the rabbit bit looked like a rabbit, but ok, I guess that makes sense. What makes a bit less sense is the face on the other bit. Like a cheerful children’s toy gnome. All that was going through my head was that scene from Local Hero when the two characters accidentally eat the rabbit they saved from the road. ‘He had a name.’ ‘Two names.’ ‘It has a face – two faces…’ Ok. If you shut your eyes, it does pretty much what it says on the tin. The waterproof element is a nice feature – either for use or for ease of cleaning it. It’s quite a nice colour and it’s fairly quiet. It isn’t subtle and it doesn’t have much variability of speed and pressure. I would recommend this as a good basic rabbit (with two too many faces) – nothing fancy but pretty effective. Slightly Spiced Vanilla...

Read More

Review – the We-vibe Nova

The first thing you notice about the Nova from We-Vibe is its unusual shape. I confess to wondering how on earth it would fit anyone without a freakish physiognomy – maybe it clamped around one’s ladygarden like some sexy vibrating bulldog clip? Of course it doesn’t (although bulldog clips can be sexy; just use your imagination). The smaller stem actually bends back on itself, a novel design which is intended to make sure contact isn’t lost as the toy moves. May I take a moment to introduce you to Sasha the Stunt Fanny. I have draped her to keep her modesty, she’s very shy. You can see from pic #1 how different the Nova looks in comparison to standard rabbit vibes. #2 shows how the clever design works and #3 proves just how bendy this thing is. I was dubious. Apart from anything else, toys that press down hard have a tendency to slip off – you know what I’m saying, right? And the Nova does take some wriggling and getting used to, but once you get the hang of it it really works, in an intense, oh my god I have no control over this ohhhhh kinda way. Do you own a Doxy? Then you know what I mean (and if you don’t, you should go read this very NSFW and fucking hilarious review by Girl On The Net). A caveat – I don’t...

Read More


Find me on Facebook!

Buy me a coffee?