Category: WITTERINGS

Putting a new spin on an ancient design

This is a sponsored post. However I only ever write and/or publish sponsored pieces if they fit into the usual SDRR remit – no jarring adverts for vitamin pills or pyramid schemes here!  I couldn’t help but be fascinated by the idea behind the Dodil when its designers first got in touch with me. I’m used to sex toy manufacturers throwing all the bells and whistles at their products and hoping some of them stick, so the idea that someone had simply reinvented the plain old dildo seemed almost ridiculous. What can you do with a design that is...

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Don’t confuse ‘being caring’ with ‘being judgey as fuck’

You know those lists that do the rounds of social media? The ‘rules for life, but in a kind, caring and humorous way’ ones? THEY CAN KISS MY FAT ASS. Anyone who gives others a list of rules for life can go fuck themselves because 99% of the time those rules fit around their beliefs, not around what is best for others. The shittery in the following pictures was posted on Facebook last week, on a page for ‘fans of Jennifer Saunders’. People I know and love had clicked the ‘love’ emoji to proclaim that they too were cool...

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On having no shame

  ‘I have no shame.’ It’s something I say quite often, usually in response to amused-yet-slightly-horrified comments when I’ve had yet another article published online about something that makes people feel slightly uncomfortable, whether that be death or sex toys (and if you want to see something really fucking hilarious that I wrote recently, click here – tl;dr, I rode a motherfucking Sybian and wrote about it on a massive website BECAUSE I HAVE NO SHAME. Oh and there was that time I offended a lot of Catholics). ‘I’d never dare put my name to something that graphic’, people say. ‘Aah well,...

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Being batshit is no excuse for being a dick

A friend of mine was sent a message today from someone who disagreed with how open she is about her mental health struggles. The absolute cunt who wrote the message – I’m beyond being polite, so fuck it – thought she shouldn’t be so open and jokey about things because apparently it makes their own struggles harder.  Yeah. Her way of dealing with her personal situation somehow makes life harder FOR SOMEONE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WITH DIFFERENT HEALTH ISSUES ON ACCOUNT OF HOW THEY ARE, YOU KNOW, A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FUCKING PERSON. They kindly informed her they were cutting her off because they didn’t like...

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NO YOU SHOULDN’T PUT GLITTER IN YOUR FANNY WHY DO YOU EVEN NEED TO ASK THIS??

Oh my fucking god I don’t even know where to start with this. A friend sent me a link this morning to a Facebook page called ‘Passion Dust’ which apparrrrrrently is a dissolving capsule of glitter that you shove up your flue in order to make it sparkle. I’m not linking to it because so help me it is one of the worst things I’ve ever heard of, but this is what their actual website looks like:   HOW THE FUCK DID I EVER LIVE WITHOUT A SPARKLY FANNY? Oh yes, I remember – fucking easily, because fannies are not designed to...

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