Why sexual happiness is a right, not a privilege

*** Sex is fun, free, good for you and I am one of its biggest fans. Sex is, quite frankly, brilliant.  But it wasn’t always like this – I used to have a dull, almost non-existent sex life. I wrote about it in this blog post about the horrors of being an unwilling partner in a Not Getting Any relationship and to this day it is one of the most popular things I have ever written anywhere.  I was astonished – and saddened – by the messages I received in response to that piece. I heard from both men and women...

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How to be a successful writer when you are seventeen shades of batshit crazy

Because I am a gobby twat who writes for lots of different places and isn’t afraid of shoving the resultant work right up into people’s faces, I occasionally get mistaken for someone who knows how to be a professional writer.  “Violet,” gullible idiots people say, “you are clearly not of sound mind half the time, yet you earn your living as a writer. I too would like to be a writer, please tell me how.” Once I’ve stopped laughing I usually change the subject before anyone realises that I am, actually, a complete fucking lunatic. Yet I do still manage to make my...

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The joy of being a complete wanker

This post was triggered by a conversation with a friend on Facebook yesterday in which she admitted that: “The first time I ever realised I’d masturbated, I didn’t know what it was and thought I was going to die. I remember tearing through the pages of an Usborne book, frantically crying. And then I read that I’d given myself an ‘orgasm’ and the sobs just got louder until I realised I was actually going to live. “ Because that is the kind of conversations I have with friends on social media. Anyway it got me to thinking – I...

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International Women’s Day and how I used to be ‘that idiot who just doesn’t get it’

CONFESSION TIME. Years ago I had a spat with a dear friend on International Women’s Day – because, believe it or not, I’d commented on Twitter that I didn’t understand why it was necessary and was there a male equivalent (I know, I know).   What the FUCK was I on when I wrote that?? If I’m being truthful I suspect I’d just woken up and pinged my first thought on the matter out into the ether without putting it through the filters first. I have well-documented filter issues. But more likely is that, certainly up until that point, I’d...

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Why you shouldn’t work for free (except when you should)

This post is prompted by an email I received recently from a PR agency, on behalf of a very large and very famous commercial brand. As I described it on Facebook: PR: ‘Can I send you this lovely Thing from this big successful company in return for you writing a review about it?’ Me: ‘Actually I am genuinely really interested in this Thing from that company, so yes do send it over.’ PR: ‘Did I mention that the client wants it back afterwards and they don’t pay anything at all and could you talk about it on all your social...

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If you have read The State of Grace and enjoyed it, I'm almost at 100 Amazon reviews and it would be SO lovely to get there.