Write all the things, whilst crying…

*** I’m pretty sure that becoming a freelance writer was the most ridiculous idea I have ever had. This is a basic precis of the daily contents of my brain: Work. Yes. Desk is clear, brain is sharp, let’s work. *shuffles papers for ten minutes, checks Twitter* Work now. Oh I love this project, it’s such a good subject! Hang on, it’s not as fun as I thought. It needs research. Maybe I’ll have a coffee first. *two large pots of coffee later* Why is my pen shaking? Oh bollocks, there’s that other article that needs finishing first. Shit, is it due in today? It is. Shiiiiit. I should probably have another coffee first though, to sharpen my brain. AARGH I HAVE AN HOUR TO FINISH THIS I CANNOT DO IT WHY DO I EVEN DO THIS JOB ANYWAY AARRGH I know, I’ll write a blog post instead. Everyone knows blogs should be updated on a regular basis. There is nothing in my head. It is a bleak desert of grey nothingness. Who wants to read a blog post about nothing? But if I write a post about nothing it at least means I’ve written something today. And then maybe I will feel better and be able to get the other work done. And that, my friend, is why you have just wasted several minutes of your life reading nothing. Violet x...

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The drugs DO work, actually

So I had to go to the GP this week and utter those immortal words, ‘Ummm…yeah, well…er no, I’m not doing so good, actually.’ And my GP said ‘Aah well it happens, let’s see what we can do for you’ and now I’m on ‘proper’ meds again for the first time in about five years. Backstory – I have a chronic anxiety disorder, was recently diagnosed with Aspergers and am also still recovering from a horse riding accident which has made me walk a bit wonky and gives me dizzy spells. Also there had been a shitload of crap...

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The Joy of Sex (toys)

  *** I’m in The Sun today, talking about why sex toys are BRILLIANT. This being the tabloid press they’ve left out quite a bit of pertinent info – and also an absolutely brilliant pic of me in a bed tent under my duvet, waggling a Doxy around my ears – but whatever you think of the paper itself, the fact that this sort of thing is now being discussed openly is just awesome. When I was growing up, most women didn’t admit to even wanking, let alone buying and using vibrators. This was probably a huge amount to...

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Things I have learned as an autistic adult

*** Although I’ve only recently been formally diagnosed with autism (Asperger Syndrome to be precise, although I generally just say ‘autistic’), I’ve always felt out of kilter with the world and have developed my own ways of coping with life. You know, those little things that mean you manage to not kill the Stupids – the stuff that helps you to not go stark staring bonkers under the strain of simply Existing. Especially the one about the forks. *** People don’t always say what they mean And quite often they don’t mean what they say, either. I decided long ago...

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Seeing things in black and white

*** Funny isn’t it – however much you ‘know’ something in your head, it often doesn’t seem real until it’s written down in black and white. Confirmed by someone else, so that you know you weren’t imagining it after all. Today I was formally diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. This won’t come as a surprise to many people who know me in person, but actually it was a bit of a surprise to me. I have had 46 years of being told I’m fine, I just need to get organised, get my shit together, just stop worrying, there’s nothing wrong. After...

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If you have read The State of Grace and enjoyed it, I'm almost at 100 Amazon reviews and it would be SO lovely to get there.