Ooh look, it’s time for the annual ‘what I did this year’ round up, alongside unlikely resolutions for the next twelve months.
I’ll keep it mercifully brief. Apart from the usual traumas – fights with authorities over autistic youngest, stress about being freelance when there’s fuck all work around, etc – I did manage a few notable events. After years of lusting from afar I finally met Nick Cave (and made a complete fucking tit of myself, but you can’t have everything). I gave in to the inevitable and began reviewing sex toys on a professional level (hey if you’re going to do something do it PROPERLY, is what I reckon). I began working for Metro and wrote one of their most-shared articles ever. Oh and my photograph was splashed across two pages of the Daily Mail in a fucking surreal article that made me look like a completely different person (which is probably for the best)*.
What you will notice is that none of those incidents is related to any of the others. My life is apparently a series of random events which happen whether I intend them or not and over which I seemingly have no control. Which is why I’m not going to be making any resolutions for 2016, on the principle that whatever I decide to do, the opposite is pretty much guaranteed to happen.
So I’m heading into next year the same way as I started this – with no fucking idea where it’ll take me and armed only with the determination to cling on and attempt to enjoy the ride.
Who’s with me?
*and no I am not linking to it. Fucksake.