Back in the day, I wrote a fanzine. It didn’t last long and was often quite incomprehensible, but I loved it. It occurred to me the other day that this site is more or less my modern version of that zine in that it combines all of my favourite things – as the site title implies (and I’m fond of saying A LOT), we’re all the product of sex (and most of us do it ourselves at least occasionally), we’re all going to die and music makes the journey between the two much more bearable.
The time when I was spewing my random thoughts onto photocopier paper was pre-internet so I had a much smaller audience, but there was one article I wrote that people loved and would always mention when they met me – Music To Have Sex To.
In a fit of nostalgia, I thought I’d update and rewrite it with some new entries (fnar). Obviously the choices are specific to me (and I’ll probably have changed my mind about them by teatime anyway), so I’d love to hear which tracks you’d choose for your own Musical Fuck List – holler in the comments!
So in no particular order, here are my Favourite Tracks to Get Jiggy (to. Fucking hell it’s difficult to write snappy titles):
‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’ – The Rolling Stones
I would totally shag Mick. Yes, even now. If you’re pulling boaky faces right now then you need to have a word with yourself. He would be brilliant and you know it.
‘Rust’ – Echo and the Bunnymen
God Ian McCulloch was pretty. Actually he’s still not bad. Probably would.
‘The End’ – The Doors
A guaranteed inclusion, because it wraps sex and death in one glorious package. And that package wore leather trousers that always looked like they might fall off at any moment AND WHO COULD ASK FOR MORE THAN THAT??
‘I Feel You’ – Depeche Mode
Specifically this version, which was filmed during Dave G’s ‘Not Quite Dead But Nearly’ phase. There’s something morbidly attractive about someone who looks like they’re on the verge of shuffling off this mortal coil, but who will clearly be shagging when they eventually go (and probably waving a bottle of Jack Daniels in one hand at the same time).
‘Purple Rain’ – Prince and the Revolution
Fucking hell, 2016 has been a shitty year so far for losing heroes (and let’s not forget that it actually started in 2015 with Lemmy). Prince is (was, ugh) proof that being a weird short-arse didn’t preclude also being FUCKING HOT AS.
‘Without You I’m Nothing’ – Placebo feat. David Bowie
Jesus, where do I even start with just how fucking sexy this is?? Two of my favourite men ever, both of whom look as good in a frock as they do trousers. Plus I met Brian Molko once and he’s way manlier than you might expect.
‘If Lovin’ You Is Wrong’ – Faithless
Sheer fucking filth from beginning to end. Nnnnggghhh.
‘Stagger Lee’ – Nick Cave
Yes I know it’s about a madman on a murderous rampage but fucking HELL it’s sexy. The video is ridiculously homoerotic and if you look carefully you can spot Polly Harvey leaping around in the background with the Bad Seeds. Basically this has all of my favourite things in one sexy place.
‘Drive In Saturday’ – David Bowie
Bowie’s second entry (fnar, obvs) and to be honest it was really difficult to pick just one. I’d go so far as to say that he was and is the hottest man in rock. Ever.
What do you think of my list? Which ones would you take off and what would you add? Let me know!