I wrote a piece about bum sex (technical term) for Simply Pleasure recently. In it I mentioned how, whenever I talk publicly about arses, I invariably get messages from seemingly unlikely people wanting to talk in confidence about going in the back door. You can read it in full here.

 One thing I always say is that it is essential to start slowly and carefully (this applies to everything, not just bums – vegetarianism, religion…). Which reminded me that I’ve been meaning to review these beads for a while and now seemed as good a time as any as they’re a really neat introduction to anal play. Can I just say now that I bloody LOVE that I get to say ‘anal play’ in public and it’s genuinely work-related and my mum can’t tell me off? Stick that up your arse and lube it, Mister 1986 Career Advisor who wanted me to work in Mother-fucking-care.

So. These beads are a really not-remotely-scary way of trying out this sort of thing to see if you might like it. They’re silicone with no seams so can be cleaned really easily, they’re brilliantly flexible and they’re not too big. You don’t want to be starting with something that looks like a St Bernard’s chew toy.

You will always, always need a decent lube for anything that’s going to head up your bum, for the simple but fairly obvious reason that the anus doesn’t self-lubricate – and if you get friction burns there then you are REALLY going to know about it. Water-based lube is always the best choice for silicone – System Jo do some gorgeous ones, but you can also get generic own-label versions from most major supermarkets (Tesco’s own Sequre brand works really well and is only a few quid for a large bottle).

I am assuming here that you don’t need me to tell you how to use this thing, apart from ‘lube it up and pop it in’ (actually if you have a willing partner it can be easier to get them to do it). Beads are brilliant fun for doggy-style sex, because your partner can give them a tug every now and then. If they also then pull them out quickly at the point of orgasm (yours, not theirs!), it gives a seriously insane thrill. What?? A girl needs a hobby, goddammit…

Kinx Onyx Beads cost £11.95 and are available from Simply Pleasure – click here for details (opens in new window)

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I am sent items free of charge for review purposes but I am not paid for reviews and my opinions / those of my reviewers will always be honest (in fact if I really hate something it’s more likely that I just won’t review it at all and will go back to the manufacturer and ask them WTF they were thinking). I get a (very) small commission from any purchases made from links on SDRR, which goes towards site costs. I adhere to all advertising rules and always use ‘no follow’ links where appropriate.