Yes, it’s big. A deliciously big, rumbly MONSTER

***
I have never made any secret of my love of wand vibrators and am lucky enough to own several
. Like most people I have a definite favourite, and that favourite is the ever-popular Doxy. I’ve tried endless other types but nothing’s ever managed to match Doxy’s good looks and guaranteed results. 

So when those lovely folk at Lovehoney sent me the Desire Magic Wand, I thought ‘Awww, that’s nice of them’ and put it to one side, thinking I’d get round to it at some point. That point turned out to be later the same day, because I get bored easily and boredom is easily alleviated when you have a ridiculous amount of sex toys hanging round the place, amiright? 

OH MY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. How the fuck does something that’s rechargeable have this much power?? It is clearly some sort of Dark Magic, because the only other wands I’ve tried that have had this kind of strength are the mains-powered ones. Yet amazingly it doesn’t give me that weird numb wrist thing from the vibrations going up my arm either, which some varieties of wand do – I’m assuming that the heavyweight build quality helps to absorb a lot of the percussion within the handle end.

Apparently the Desire has 20 wave patterns and 5 levels of intensity, but I wouldn’t know about that because I’m of the ‘switch the fucker on and have fun’ school of sex toy fun and only ever use the ‘steady rumble at medium speed’ option. I can’t be doing with this ‘on-off-on-ON-off-on’ stuff, because it has a tendency to get things going only to suddenly stop at a crucial moment – frustrating rather than hot, IMO. That said, if you do like the wave pattern stuff it’s got very good ones to choose from, especially the ones that start gently and build to a crescendo – a lot of toys are a bit ‘meh’ with this, but the Desire makes very clear jumps between the different speeds, etc.

For the sake of this review I did try turning the intensity up to max, which is so ridiculously fucking powerful that the only thing it would do to me personally is numb everything and made me feel as though I was being attacked by an aesthetically pleasing jackhammer. But the facility is there if that’s what floats your boat (although you may wish to wear a hard hat for safety).

 

I’d recommend using a good thick lube with it, because this thing is so intense you won’t want to be stopping to reapply. I’ve always been happy with generic supermarket brand lubes, but Lovehoney included a bottle of their own Enjoy water-based lubricant and honestly, it immediately became my absolute favourite lube ever (no, they haven’t paid me to say that and yes, my opinion may change with the next brilliant lube I test. But for now, this stuff is the schizz). 

Why? Because it’s in a good-sized, clear bottle (so you can tell when it’s running out, because we’ve all had those moments when you grab a bottle only to discover there’s nothing left and oh my god the chafing – don’t deny it, you know what I’m talking about here) with a sturdy pump dispenser, plus it’s properly thick and gloopy (which doesn’t always happen with water-based lubes). The only downside, if there is one, is that a little really does go a long way and if you’re the overly excitable sort you can end up in a sticky mess. Not that it happened to me *cough* 

Back to the matter in hand, as it were. The only negative thing I can find to say about the Desire Magic Wand is that it is seriously fucking noisy. Apologies to whoever wrote the Lovehoney blurb that claims it as being ‘surprisingly quiet compared to other models’ – there is absolutely no way you would get away with using this in secret if you have ‘guests, children or thin walls’. Nuh huh. But then I’ve never once picked up a wand vibe and expected it to be subtle, because that’s not what these things are about.

Will the Desire end up replacing my beloved Doxy Die Cast? Probably not – purple silicon just isn’t as good looking as shiny metal and mains powered is always going to have the edge over rechargeable. But the Desire wins when it comes to convenience and also for one of the simplest things you could think of – it comes with its own smart and discreet carry case. The charging cable can be plugged in through the case, which not only means that the Desire can sit out on display whilst charging up and not be noticed, it can be carried in luggage without having to be wrapped in a plastic bag (always somewhat off-putting, especially with a very expensive toy).

So for now, the Desire is in equal first place with the Doxy, which is not something I thought I’d ever say. But I should probably compare and contrast more before making a final decision. If you’ll excuse me…

The Desire Luxury Magic Wand costs £119.99 from Lovehoney (links open in new window)

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I am sent items free of charge for review purposes but I am not paid for reviews and my opinions / those of my reviewers will always be honest (in fact if I really hate something it’s more likely that I just won’t review it at all and will go back to the manufacturer and ask them WTF they were thinking). I sometimes get a (very) small commission from purchases made from links on SDRR, which goes towards site costs. I adhere to all advertising rules and always use ‘no follow’ links where appropriate.

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