Given that I write about sex a LOT and see new sex toys a LOT and get to review them a LOT, it takes something really unusual to impress me these days. Basically, most toys fit into one or more of the following descriptions:
They go up someone’s fouf
They go up someone’s bum
You put a cock in them (yours or someone else’s, whatevs)
They electrify one of the aforementioned sexyparts
It is – believe it or not – possible to find oneself bored to fucking tears with the things because THEY ARE ALL THE FUCKING SAME. Literally, ha.
But the Ruby Glow – tagline, ‘Pleasure for the seated lady’ – defies any of these descriptions, because all you need to do is sit on it. And it’s a different shape to anything I’ve seen before:
Even weirder for a sex toy, you can keep your clothes on whilst doing the sexy sitting, should you so wish. Now obviously there is logic to sitting on a vibrating fun-nugget – it wiggles, it presses the right bits of anatomy, you wiggle. Simple formula. But I was slightly dubious, because a) it looks fucking weird; and b) surely the chair (or whatever you’ve placed it on) would absorb at least some of the vibrations?
Also, confession time – Tabitha is a friend, and an all round awesome woman. So I was actually a bit nervous about testing the Ruby Glow, because what if I didn’t like it god it would be so embarrassing what would I say uurrrrkkk…
So it’s a bloody good job that I loved it then, isn’t it? Saves everyone a lot of social embarrassment, that does. Yes it looks unlike any vibrator I’ve seen before, and yes, there’s something distinctly odd about sitting upright in a chair whilst wriggling on what basically looks like a very elegant doorstop, BUT IT REALLY WORKS.
I was wrong – the vibrations don’t get lost in the chair. They really, really don’t. Ummm. Trying to find negatives, I’d say it might not suit everyone purely because it’s a set shape and the human anatomy varies (someone actually discusses this issue at length in the reviews in this link). But I suspect that you’d be able to wriggle into position whatever your shape or size. Whether I’d actually use it whilst working is debatable, for the simple reason that I would never get any work done, ever.
Oh and it comes recommended by the Good Housekeeping Institute. Yes really.
So, er, yeah. Go buy one. They’re less than forty quid from Rocks Off and everyone deserves a treat. Especially when you get to say ‘Oh this thing? Just a doorstop. Yes I keep it on my desk, WHAT OF IT?’
Pleasure for the seated lady, indeed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have deadlines to meet. Must get back to my desk…
I am sent items free of charge for review purposes but I am not paid for reviews and my opinions / those of my reviewers will always be honest (in fact if I really hate something it’s more likely that I just won’t review it at all and will go back to the manufacturer and ask them WTF they were thinking). I get a – very – small commission from any purchases made from links on SDRR, which goes towards site costs. I adhere to all advertising rules and always use ‘no follow’ links where appropriate.